CHEERFUL

Today I chose this topic “Cheerful” .

In our daily lives we have been so monotonous these days that we have forgotten the literal meaning of cheerful, most of the times we are unhappy, complaining, irritated or sad. Even If we open the morning paper from the front page  to the last page there is so much of stress, pain, hatred, crime, abuse so I thought I would focus on this word Cheerful…
If you see today’s children their childhood has forgotten to be innocently cheerful—they are all so busy with pressure of studies, competition, gadgets-- hardly you will find children enjoying without any worries…Just being cheerful and happy . But being cheerful is the need of the hour if we want to have next generation a happy generation.

Adults in the role of doing multiple tasks remained stressed..and forget to be happy… Do you remember the last time you have laughed your heart out…without any inhibitions just being self… Today my friends who are reading this  I request you to take 10 minutes of your day and recollect a funny incident of your life and laugh it out.. or do something that makes you happy .

YOU MUST BE DETERMINED TO BE CHEERFUL IN WHATEVER THE SITUATION IS- because the events in life is a temporary phase it will go away….AND YOU SHOULD BELIEVE THAT THE DECISION TO BE CHEERFUL IS YOUR CHOICE AND NOT CIRCUMSTANCES.

When you keep on repeating an action it becomes a behavioral habit such as the BRUSHING  habit. When you keep repeating MENTAL ACTION   as consciously directing your thoughts towards cheerfulness it becomes a mental habit and if you get into habit of thinking negative it leads to  hopelessness

Being Cheerful is very  contagious  so if you are cheerful you can spread this and people around you also be cheerful and happy.  To insure good health it’s important to have daily doses of cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life. How we develop physical immunity to protect our self from diseases it’s important that we should develop emotional immunity against negativity, hopelessness, setbacks. You can develop immunity of emotion in mind by cultivating habits of right rational thinking.

Blessed..I feel today

 

I feel truly Blessed…

As soon as the thought of blogging the letter B-first word that came to my mind was blessed. 

I thought why not this year I focus on the word  Blessed..I feel today. I go back to memory lane to recall the innumerable times I have felt blessed which has been showered on me by various acquaintances I had in life. I  feel that the small things that happen when you least expect it are also blessings in disguise. 

I always thank my family, friends who are my blessings as during my weaker moments they understand me, support me and stands by me when I need the most.

some instances of life where I felt really blessed..

I am really blessed with my daughter—I remember during my pregnancy I did not have much support as my parent were old- not well, but those 9 months—I was well, did not have any sickness, worked till day before getting admitted to hospital, and had a normal delivery…and the process was so peaceful that I knew that I was blessed coz God always leaves one door open when others are shut..I remember Shyam my husband had been there during the whole process in delivery. 

     To my surprise in Hyderabad, India amongst my interactions with so many families last 10 years I have hardly found 2 families where father was there present in the delivery room during delivery process. Of course amongst Bengali friends I have found many of father’s part of this wonderful process…

Another example I remember when I was working in  Divya Disha in 2009,  the project I was working on had come to an end..and before I could ponder what to do next ---this offer of CSR in Makro came as a blessing--which just happened as one day I got an email from my present director there is an opening where you will be the architect of this venture. CSR.. I had taken it though I was very scared to get into something which is very new  –whether I would be able to fit in… but when I look back I consider it as a blessing in disguise. 

My daily blessings in disguise examples- When I am stuck on a road where there is no hope of getting a transport… a public vehicle  which comes and reaches me to my next destination is a blessing for me at that moment.

I also consider myself blessed with the people who have helped me in my home front-my family, my domestic helpers .. I know if you pay you get people but to get good people is a blessing. I see in my building itself there are 10 families and how they struggle with their domestic helpers—that time I just say thank you God I don’t have to struggle that much..     

 So today I write…I accept the blessed and   flow of abundant love from nature…

I  allow the highest source of goodness to flow through me and also pass on this goodness flow to you all.

I allow to be blessed today with wisdom, strength and patience.

I am blessed with an incredible family and friends and wash out all the negative people from my surrounding.

I feel blessed to choose the strength within, love with an expanded heart,

I feel blessed to work with focus mind and thankful for all I have..

I hope to release out all the toxic people from my love….

So today I tell that its important to Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose and accept the blessings that you have in your life and express gratitude with open heart....

 Coz there are many people who have not been blessed as we are....

Attitude, Awareness, Action-Key to success..

Today as the first day of blogging I want to talk about Awareness, Attitude and Action that can lead to Success or lead to Failure.

An Attitude is an expression of favor or disfavor towards a person, place, thing or event. An attitude is generally formed by a person’s past or present. Negative attitude can create hindrance in achieving purpose or goals of life and lead to unproductive outcome. However positive thoughts generate positive feelings, attract positive experiences and helps in developing   positive attitude.  

Realising this is called Self awareness. Self-awareness is a psychological state in which people are aware of their traits, feelings and behaviour. Crisp & Turner, 2010, says alternately, it can be defined as the realization of oneself as an individual entity. After becoming aware it’s important to take Action.

Actions are your behaviors, the things you do which move you toward your goals. Taking action is an important step towards   achievement.We often have difficulty in taking action as we always focus on that  right decision or right action and in the pursuit end up doing nothing. People sometimes assume that only big things count as taking action. However it is often the small, steady actions which contribute to you reaching your goals.

The three components of achieving the life you desire is   Attitude, Self awareness  and Actions . Adverse circumstances bothers you till the time you pay attention. The moment you divert your attention into favourable circumstances all your troubles fade away.

Remember::::“There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.” You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself.  Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. 

Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life. “The most important relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself. 

If anyone has difficulty in taking action ..one can contact us at:aparna.adhikari@makrofoundation.org

Arushi reached another milestone of her life-taking first step to travel alone from school..

Arushi my  8 years old daughter is going for an overnight trip to Rajamundry today 17th March 2015 by Nagavelli Express at 9:30 pm. She will reach Rajamundry on 18th March 2015 and freshen up at Rajamundry future kids school. She has been taken to have an experience of village trip. On 18th March 2015 night she will be boarding back the train-Padmavathi express and reach Hydearabad on 19th March 2015.. by 7:30 am at station.Its outing in a nearby district for 2 nights and one day from school...

She is super excited not able to sleep in excitement with the thought of excursion with friends for last 2 days.The note came to us in Janaury 2015 and since then she has been pesturing us to let her go..I had thought I will also go with her separately and be with her when she has good time with friends.. However things did not work out..and now she is leaving for the same. 

If you observe her she is excited and again she is also worried about her fav. tv program-"if I go I cannot see tarak mehta ka oolta chasma" - her favourite  program in Sab tv... She has not been introduced to latest  episode of a serial watching in laptop yet..

Mothers dilemma- Never left Arushi alone overnight anytime not even in her grandparent house or aunt/uncle's house without any one of us till now. Either dad or mom is always around with her..

Lots of thoughts overflowing in the mind and is unable to focus on present. Some fear  known some unknown has engulfed the mind.. on second thoughts whether we are doing the right thing by letting her go alone at such young age. ..I understand a lot of these thoughts are to do with my own securities.. but as a parent I guess I will always have this..no matter how grown up my daughter goes.

As a precursor I have taken her to Madurai a week ago --this time and made her do lot of things-  take care of her own  luggage, remember the place where we stayed, guide the direction to and fro where we were put up, take out plates for lunch and dinner, go and place the plates in right places,  cleaning and dressing on own.she performed fairly well.  Her bags are packed and delivered to school in advance as per instruction,she will take a small pouch with her which contains her kitty of things-chocolates, book, her favourite toys etc. Seeing these small joys in her eyes its worth taking the effort .

Addiction

Yesterday I was very inspired by the program " Satyame Jayete" -a show hosted by Mr. Amir Khan..The topic was Addiction-Alcoholism.

When I was doing course in  M.Sc Human Development, Mumbai SNDT University, I had chosen this topic of Alcoholic father-Effect on Children and memories flew back of the impact this Addiction had on families. I also had been part of Children of Ala Non group sharing and it was heart rendering experience each child had. So i thought today I will put down few of my learnings in context to this:

Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (gambling) that can be pleasurable but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work or relationships, even health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others.

When a person is addicted to something they cannot control how they use it, and become dependent on it to cope with daily life.

A habit may eventually develop into an addiction.Many of us can use substances or become engaged in activities without any significant problems. Some people, however, may experience damaging psychological and/or physical effects when their habit becomes an addiction.

What is the difference between a habit and an addiction?

Addiction - there is a psychological/physical component; the person is unable to control the aspects of the addiction without help because of the mental or physical conditions involved.

Habit - it is done by choice. The person with the habit can choose to stop, and will subsequently stop successfully if they want to. The psychological/physical component is not an issue as it is with an addiction.

Put simply - with a habit you are in control of your choices, with an addiction you are not in control of your choices. Addiction to substances or activities can sometimes lead to serious problems at home, work, school and socially.Addiction to substances or activities can sometimes lead to serious problems at home, work, school and socially.

The causes of addiction vary considerably, and are not often fully understood. They are generally caused by a combination of physical, mental, circumstantial and emotional factors.

Addiction, often referred to as dependency often leads to tolerance - the addicted person needs larger and more regular amounts of whatever they are addicted to in order to receive the same effect. Often, the initial reward is no longer felt, and the addiction continues because withdrawal is so unpleasant.

Most addictive behavior is not related to either physical tolerance or exposure to cues. People compulsively use drugs, or gamble or shop, nearly always in reaction to being emotionally stressed, whether or not they have a physical addiction. Since these psychologically based addictions are not based on drug or brain effects, they can account for why people frequently switch addictive actions from one drug to a completely different kind of drug, or even to a non-drug behavior. The focus of the addiction isn't what matters; it's the need to take action under certain kinds of stress. To treat this kind of addiction requires understanding of how it works psychologically.

I totally agree that Addiction is not a habit it is an illness. We need to acknowledge that this is a health issue and start taking help for this. There is a lot to be done and I really thank God that I am saved from this menace of society but pray for all the family members affected by this. 

Dear Arushi, happy Children's Day

Today is children's day dear daughter and as I explained you yesterday ie 13th November 2011 why children's day is celebrated. The easiest way i could explain you was " it was the bday of Jawaharlal Nehru who was popularly known as Chacha Nehru, and he was a great leader and he used to love children" As we celebrate his bday we also celebrate the essence of childhood. Also to note that yesterday your question stunned me.. mummy on that day can children do whatever they like.. to which I smiled and said it depends on what are the wishes of the child"
I was also wondering what your school planned for you on this occasion..
Never the less I already thought that on this day I will give you your favourite snacks.from Mc Donald . and ice cream from Naturals..

Today morning you were very happy as soon as your dad told its Children's Day wake up... you got dressed and ready with Orange T Shirt and Jeans. Remeber we hunted your clothes in cupboard to see if you have any dress that matches the colour code of your school.....

Dear Daughter I would like to just thank God for bringing you into my life and helping me to relive my childhood...

Dear Daughter "You are for me Beautiful and Sweet, Soft as Young" And I will be with you always,

Remember that mom and dad loves you the most and you will always be present in our prayers...

Enjoy the childhood and I am happy that God has helped us find a school for you that also believes in the same...Happy Children's Day..

Arushi at Family Day Celebration in School

In Future Kids Family Day was celebrated and she was supposed to dress up as her favourite family member.She expressed that she would like to be grandma" Mummy mujhe dadiaama banna hein and I want Spectatle also"
First the thought came to my mind that I will make her wear some casual dress and send her, but on second thoughht I decided to send her as per her wish... So yesterday evening along with my daughter went to Dress Hiring Shop at Krishnanagar and picked up the necessary material for the get up. Also I specifically hunted for a suitable spectatcle as that was her most excitement.. The dress was a silk saree with blouse like those of granny and she was overjoyed to see them..
Next day morning amongst all the hustle bustle of morning rush I and Shyam dressed her up, with pins, bindi and other accessories.She was very excited.. According to her "Super" mommy. She also started mimicking the walk of granny and it gave us immense pleasure to see the smile and excitement. These small little joys of childhood are fun days..

The Art of Getting Well

5 Step

Put your life before your illness

Listen to your body

Conserve your energy for healing

Change the things that harm you

Get the help you need

The Difference Between Winning and Losing

The Difference Between Winning and Losing
By Catherine Pulsifer
Hanging on, persevering, WINNING
Letting go, giving up easily, LOSING
Accepting responsibility for your actions, WINNING
Always having an excuse for your actions, LOSING
Taking the initiative, WINNING
Waiting to be told what to do, LOSING
Knowing what you want and setting goals to achieve it, WINNING
Wishing for things, but taking no action, LOSING
Seeing the big picture, and setting your goals accordingly, WINNING
Seeing only where you are today, LOSING
Being determined, unwilling to give up WINNING
Gives up easily, LOSING
Having focus, staying on track, WINNING
Allowing minor distractions to side track them, LOSING
Having a positive attitude, WINNING
having a "poor me" attitude, LOSING
Adopt a WINNING attitude!
My thoughts,
I really liked it and hope you also like it, we become so tuned to winning that one incident of loosing deters our mind.... i have learnt to adopt the above and am slowly moving towards having a Winning Attitude.. I really thank all my friends and well wisheers for supporting me ...in this

A MOTHERS LOVE

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: Rs. 5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: Rs. 1.00
For going to the store for you: Rs.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: 0.25p
Taking out the garbage: Rs.1.00
For getting a good report card: Rs.5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: Rs. 2.00
Total owed: Rs. 14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me:
No Charge

For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you:
No Charge

For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years:
No Charge

For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead:
No Charge

For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose:
No Charge

Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is:
No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".

Lessons to be learnt:

* You will never how much your parents worth till you become a parent
*Be a giver not an asker, especially with your parents. there is a lot to give, besides money.

Make a Difference

A man was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along he began to see another man in the distance.

As he grew nearer he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up, and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean.

As our friend approached even closer he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had washed up onto the beach, and one at a time, he was throwing them back into the ocean.



The first man was puzzled. He approached the man and said, "Good Evening Friend, I was wondering what are you doing?" And he replied, "I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they will die from the lack of oxygen."

"I understand," my friend replied "but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach and you couldn't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many and don't you realize that this is happening on hundreds of beaches up and down this coast ... can't you see that that you can't possibly make a difference?

The local native smiled, bent down, picked up yet another starfish ... and as he threw it back out into the sea, he replied, "It made a difference to that one!"

You may feel like you cannot make a difference in the world today, but you CAN make a difference in one life at a time.

Lessons to be learnt :

* Never underestimate your own efforts. You too could make a difference.
* Don't ask what the world could do for you, seek what you could do to the world.

Manager Characteristics vs Leaders Characteristics

Administrators
A copy
Maintains
Focuses on systems and structures
Relies on control
Short Range Views
Asks how and when
Imitates
Does the things right
Classic good soldiers


Leaders Characteristics
Innovates
Original
Develops
Focuses on People
Inspires trust
Long Range Perspective
Asks what and why
Originates
Does the right thing
Own person