U-Understanding in a relationship-importance

Understanding in a relationship is a key factor in sustaining long term relationship. Lack  of understanding is often a reason to end a relationship. Relationship is the slow and steady process and to make it

stronger it takes more time and patience. To understand anybody  is really not an easy task, but the couples who have achieved this are the happiest. Understanding each other is most important thing for the partners to build a strong relationship.A classic “line” from cheating husbands is “my wife doesn’t understand me.” There may be many specific examples of lack of understanding, but most are rooted in insecurity, fueled by jealousy.

One of the most important step for understanding is communication with partner.Trust is one root of understanding. Listening with your heart as well as your ears, spend a quality time with your partner,sharing

Until you spend time with your partner you will not come to about his/her likes and dislikes. It helps to develop a better understanding between the partner that brings you closer to each other and strengthens your relationship. The problems in the relationship arise due to the misunderstanding. 

So, if you have a proper understanding with your partner no misunderstandings could arise. It is prime necessity of the married couple to develop a very good understanding that will help them to stay with each other happily throughout the life.Mutual love, respect, trust, and confidence between the two partners can develop only after you develop a good understanding. Up course everyone has difference, but you need to accept your partner with his differences

 Understanding  is a process of self revelation.Relationship is the mirror in which you discover yourself to be is to be related. Understanding character is a vital part of process of finding a relationship partner and developing a strong and vibrant relationship together. The key factors in long term  stable relationship are: friendship,freedom,honesty,trust,understanding and communication

T-Time Management

Time must be explicitly managed, just like money.
Why is time mgt important..
The Problem is Severe--By some estimates, people waste about 2 hours per day.  Managing your time well makes you successful..

Signs of time wasting: Messy desk and cluttered (or no) files, Can’t find things, Miss appointments, need to reschedule them late and/or unprepared for meetings,Volunteer to do things other people should do
Tired/unable to concentrate,Being successful doesn’t make you manage your time well.
Steps---

1. Important to have  Goal, Priorities, and Planning--Ask these important questions-Why am I doing this?What is the goal?Why will I succeed?What happens if I chose not to do it?
2. The 80/20 Rule--Critical few and the trivial many,Having the courage of your convictions, Good judgment comes from experience,Experiences comes from bad judgment
3. Planning:Failing to plan is planning to fail,Plan Each Day, Each Week, Each month,and so on...You can always change your plan, but only once you have one!
4. Paperwork-    Clutter is death; it leads to thrashing.  Keep desk clear: focus on one thing at a time, A good file system is essential, Touch each piece of paper once,Prepare  TO DO list
5.  Scheduling Yourself-You don’t find time for important things, you make it..
6. Everything you do is an opportunity cost
7. Learn to say “No”
8. Using Time Journal Data--What am I doing that doesn’t really need to be done? What am I doing that could be done by someone else? What am I doing that could be done more efficiently? What do I do that wastes others’ time? Avoid Procastination- Doing things at the last minute is much more expensive than just before the last minute, Deadlines are really important:  establish them yourself!
9. Move out of comfort zone:Identify why you aren’t enthusiastic,Fear of embarrassment,Fear of failure, Get a spine and quit making excuses.
10. Delegation--No one is an island,You can accomplish a lot more with help,Most delegation in your life is from faculty to graduate student.

General Advice-

• Kill your television (how
  badly do you want tenure or your degree?)
• Turn money into time – especially important for people with kids or other family commitments.
• Eat and sleep and exercise. Above all else!
• Never break a promise, but re-negotiate them if need be.
• If you haven’t got time to do it right, you don’t have time to do it wrong.
• Recognize that most things are pass/fail.
• Feedback loops: ask in confidence

Time journal example--

S-Satisfaction and Happiness

Satisfaction and  Happiness is a warm puppy to some, and to others, happiness is a long weekend when the alarm doesn't need to be set.Setting aside sticker wisdom, savants who survey the world's wellbeing now take into account a range of metrics that includes not just individual satisfaction and wealth, but also bro

ad contentment: social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom to make life choices, perceptions of corruption, and dystopia, a generally bleak place where things are going downhill.

The 2015 World Happiness Report is the third of its kind and is edited by a team of renowned academics and analysts - among them American economist Jeffrey Sachs and head of the London School of  Economics' 'wellbeing' programme, Richard Laynard.

 India:::All things considered, it doesn't look too good for India. Already rated an unhappy place in 2014 with a ranking of 111, the country dropped six places to 117 out of 158 countries ranked in the 2015 list, which took into account data from 2012-2014, and was as usual was dominated by wealthy Nordic countries 

History about Report: The World Happiness Report is a measure of happiness published by the United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network. The first World Happiness Report was released on April 1, 2012, just ahead of as a foundational text for the conference. It drew international attention as the world's first global happiness survey. The Report outlined the state of world happiness, causes of happiness and misery, and policy implications; In the Reports, leading experts in several fields – economics, psychology, survey analysis, national statistics, and more – describe how measurements of well-being can be used effectively to assess the progress of nations. The second Report delved deeper into issues relating to happiness, including mental illness, the objective benefits of happiness, the importance of ethics, policy implications, and links with the OECD’s approach to measuring subjective well-being as well as the Human Development Report. First published in 2012, the study uses a range of factors to determine how happy a nation is, ranging from purely domestic perspectives - such as GDP and life expectancy figures - to how its citizens view themselves and their country within the world at large. This year's study is the first to additionally break the statistics down by age and gender, however, with it possible for readers to find, for example, that a country ranking relatively highly overall, has a hidden population of deeply unhappy young women concerned about equal rights and pay.

THE 10 HAPPIEST NATIONS

1. Switzerland              6. Finland

2. Iceland                     7. Netherlands

3. Denmark                  8. Sweden

4. Norway                    9. New Zealand

5. Canada                   10. Australia

THE 10 LEAST HAPPY NATIONS

149. Chad                    154. Rwanda

150. Guinea                 155. Benin

151. Ivory Coast           156. Syria

152. Burkina Faso        157. Burundi        

153. Afghanistan          158. Togo

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Unhappy-India-sinking-further-ranks-117th-in-world-happiness-index/articleshow/47041788.cms

R-Reading Disorder

A reading disorder  is a condition in which a sufferer displays difficulty reading resulting primarily from neurological factors. Developmental Dyslexia, Alexia (acquired dyslexia), and Hyperlexia.

The disorder can be classified by how you develop it.Developmental dyslexia is a condition you are born with, Acquired dyslexia can result from brain trauma or diseases such as Alzheimer’s,There are man subtypes of dyslexia. These are classified according to whether the specific processing problem is related to letters, sounds, word recognition, spelling etc..

Around 60%-80% of individuals diagnosed with Reading disorder were males. Reading disorders occur when a person has trouble with any part of the reading process. Reading and language-based learning disabilities are commonly called dyslexia. These disorders are present from a young age and usually result from specific differences in the way the brain processes language.

There are many different symptoms and types of reading disorders, and not everyone with a reading disorder has every symptom. People with reading disorders may have problems recognizing words that they already know and may also be poor spellers. Other symptoms may include the following:

• Trouble with handwriting
• Difficulty reading quickly
• Problems reading with correct expression
• Problems understanding the written word

 specific types of reading disorders include:

• Word decoding. People who have difficulty sounding out written words; matching the letters to sounds to be able to read a word.
• Lack of fluency. People who lack fluency have difficulty reading quickly, accurately, and with proper expression (if reading aloud).
• Poor reading comprehension. People with poor reading comprehension have trouble understanding what they read

Common characteristics of children with reading disorder include:

• difficulty identifying single words
• problems understanding the sounds in words, sound order, or rhymes
• problems with spelling
• transposing letters in words
• omitting or substituting words
• poor reading comprehension
• slow reading speed (oral or silent)

Diagnostic criteria for 315.00 Reading Disorder as per DSM IV-TR

The essential feature of a Reading disorder is the  reading achievement (reading accuracy,speed, or comprehension as measured by individually administered standardized tests) that fall substantially below that expected given the individual's chronological age,measured intelligence, and age appropriate education ( Criterion A). the disturbance in reading significantly interferes with academic achievement or with activities of daily living that requires reading skills (Criterion B),If a sensory deficit is present, the reading difficulties are in excess of those usually associated with it(Criterion C).If a general medical  (eg neurological)condition or sensory deficit is present one should code the condition on Axis III

Treatment approaches vary from visual stimulation to diets to special  enhanced reading instruction. However, it is generally agreed that customized education is the only successful remedy. Each child learns at a different pace, so it is important to customize treatment. Your child may need one-on-one tutoring, targeted supplemental activities, or additional help in a class that moves at a slower pace. Treating a reading disorder may require the help of a reading specialist, teachers, a psychologist, and parents.

Q-Quit Addiction

Addiction is a progressive disease and psychiatric disorder that is defined by the American Society of Addiction Medicine as "a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. It is characterized by the inability to control behavior, it creates a dysfunctional emotional response, and it affects the users ability to abstain from the substance or behavior consistently.Psychology Today defines addiction as "a state that can occur when a person either consumes a substance such as nicotine, cocaine, or, alcohol or engages in an activity such as gambling or shopping/spending
When a non-addict takes a drug or performs a behavior for the first time he/she does not automatically become an addict. Over time the non-addict chooses to continue to engage in a behavior or ingest a substance because of the pleasure the non-addict receives. The now addict has lost the ability to choose or forego the behavior or substance and the behavior becomes a compulsive action.

The change from non-addict to addict occurs largely from the effects of prolonged substance use and behavior activities on brain functioning. Addiction affects the brain circuits of reward and motivation, learning and memory, and the inhibitory control over behavior.

Quitting is to cease or discontinue...Addiction has a lots of side effects hence many people think about quitting addiction and try different ways ....and again have relapse..

Some tips to quitting addiction...understand that it is a health issue.

1) Acknowledge the purpose: Why do you do it? You have to be able to answer that question. Is it to help you deal with anxiety and stress? It may be hard for you to admit that you have a drinking or smoking habit, but you can't change what you don't acknowledge.
2)Think rational thoughts instead of denial-You understand at a conscious level, at an intellectual level that your addiction is unhealthy, yet you continue and this perplexes you.
3) Use alternative coping skills-People don't break bad habits; they replace them with new ones. Recognize that you get a reward from smoking or drinking
4) Identify your danger zones-A danger zone can be a particular time of day or your reaction to a particular circumstance. There are times that you're more prone to indulge in your habit than others. Recognize what those times are, and do something that is incompatible with the addiction you're trying to break.
5) Making lifestyle changes:You have to set your life up for success if you're going to break your addiction. If you're trying to stop smoking or drinking, try simple things like not carrying money for cigarette vending machines or cleaning your cupboards of alcoholic beverages. You may have to change the places you frequent, what you do for fun and whom you hang out with. If you are a computer junkie, remove the computer from your house. The best way to stop an addiction is to not have access to it.
6) Be accountable and have a support system-Being accountable to someone means that that person will not only support you but also will reprimand
Reward yourself-Overcoming an addiction can be very difficult, but it can be done. When you see yourself making progress, even baby steps, you have to motivate yourself to keep going. Give yourself credit
7) Take professional help or mental health care professional help...

you when your mind goes towards addiction,Get your family and friends involved in your efforts to kick the habit.

P-Procastination

I get lots of students/youth who say that they have a starting problem...They plan studies, work but while taking action they don;t succeed  the time never comes..

Procrastinators love planning, quite simply because planning does not involve doing, and doing is the procrastinator’s Kryptonite.But when procrastinators plan, they like to do it in a vague way that doesn’t consider details or reality too closely, and their planning leaves them perfectly set up to not actually accomplish anything

 Procrastination is the practice of carrying out less urgent tasks in preference to more urgent ones, or doing more pleasurable things in place of less pleasurable ones, and thus putting off impending tasks to a later time, sometimes to the "last minute" before a deadline. The act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention.For some reason, we have an emotional reaction when we have to do something we don't want to do, don't enjoy doing, or are convinced we simply cannot do. Learning to acknowledge this reaction will not only make us aware that we may be procrastinating, but will also help us on our quest to stop procrastinating.

Overcoming procastination

1) Recognise that you are procrastinating

2) Work out reasons of procrastination

3) Adopt steps for anti procrastination
4)Talk to self and reorganize and rephrase your internal dialogue and thoughts to taking action --    Focus on starting, rather than finishing, break the big task down to short tasks, stop thinking about the way things should be rather do...and don't be too rigid, take action, reward yourself on accomplishing task...

O-Occupational stress

Occupational stress is a physical or psychological  disorder associated with an occupational environment  and manifested in  symptoms such as extreme anxiety,tension, cramps, headaches, depression, digestion problem, inability to perform tasks.  

A healthy job is likely to be one where the pressures on employees are appropriate in relation to their abilities and resources, to the amount of control they have over their work, and to the support they receive from people who matter to them. As health is not merely the absence of disease or infirmity but a positive state of complete physical, mental and social well-being (WHO, 1986), a healthy working environment is one in which there is not only an absence of harmful conditions but an abundance of health-promoting ones.

 

Pressure at the workplace is unavoidable due to the demands of the contemporary work environment. Pressure perceived as acceptable by an individual, may even keep workers alert, motivated, able to work and learn, depending on the available resources and personal characteristics. However, when that pressure becomes excessive or otherwise unmanageable it leads to stress. Stress can damage an employees' health and the business performance. 

Work-related stress can be caused by poor work organisation (increased workload,hostile work environment, downsizing,overtime,shift work,  the way we design jobs and work systems, and the way we manage them), by poor work design (for example, lack of control over work processes), poor management, unsatisfactory working conditions, and lack of support from colleagues and supervisors.stressful type of work is that which values excessive demands and pressures that are not matched to workers’ knowledge and abilities, where there is little opportunity to exercise any choice or control, and where there is little support from others. 

The human body has a natural chemical response to a threat or demand, commonly known as the
“flight or fight” reaction, which includes the release of adrenalin. Once the threat or demand is over
the body can return to its natural state. A STRESSOR is an event or set of conditions that causes a
stress response. STRESS is the body’s physiological response to the stressor, and STRAIN is the
body’s longer-term reaction to chronic stress.
Occupational stress can affect your health when the stressors of the workplace exceed the
employee’s ability to have some control over their situation or to cope in other ways. For example:
⇒ Workers are overburdened with workloads that remain high regardless of their
efforts: the workload is the STRESSOR
⇒ Employees feel anxious and their heart rate speeds up because they can not control
their workloads: that is STRESS
⇒ Increased blood pressure, insomnia, or chronic headaches: that is STRAIN

Stress received

at work is one of the greatest killers in modern world-- The stress plays at your subconscious and conscious levels.. Leading to severe physical disabilities like -

1. Increased confusion and restlessness - leading to decreased confidence.
2. Increased appetite - weight gain leading to obesity.
3. Decreased sleep.
4. Muscle and joint pains - a combination of abnormal postures, sitting for long time, and stress.
5. Increased fear and sadness - leading to panic attacks and major depressive disorder.
6. Increased smoking and alcohol - leading to addictions and negative effects on body.
7. Decreased sexual performance. 

There are a variety of steps you can take to reduce both your overall stress levels and the stress you find on the job and in the workplace. 

• Taking responsibility for improving your physical and emotional well-being.
• Avoiding pitfalls by identifying knee jerk habits and negative attitudes that add to the stress you experience at work.
• Learning better communication skills to ease and improve your relationships with management and coworkers.

Others  include:Identify occupational stress triggers, tackle your stress triggers,sharpen time management skills, --set realistic goals, make a priority list, protect your time,keep perspectives-by getting others point of view,take a break,have an outlet, take care of self and seeking professional help if required.

Most people understand they are stressed but don't do anything to battle it... Suffering and dying silently.

N-Night mare disorder

Nightmares can be defined as vivid and terrifying dreams which awaken the dreamer from sleep. Typically, the dreamer wakes from the rapid eye movement (REM) stage of sleep and can remember a detailed, perhaps bizarre dream plot. There is evidence that frequent nightmares are associated with insomnia and poor-quality sleep.

ICD-10 classification defines..A sleep disorder characterised by the repeated occurrence of frightening dreams which precipitate awakenings from sleep; on awakening, the individual becomes fully alert and oriented and has detailed recall of the nightmare, which usually involves imminent danger or extreme embarrassment to the individual

 Diagnosis:The diagnostic criteria as DSM-IV-TR--

A) The essential feature of Nightmare disorder is the repeated occurrences of frightening dreams that lead to awakening from sleep usually involving threats to survival,security or self esteem. (Criterion A),the awakening generally occurs on the second half of the sleep period.

B) awakening from the frightening dreams the individual becomes fully alert and rapidly becomes oriented on awakening (Criterion B)in contrast to the confusion and disorientation seen in Sleep Terror Disorder and some forms of sleep epilepsy. 

C) The dream experience or the sleep disturbance resulting from the awakening causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. (Criterion C)

D) The nightmares do not occur exclusively during the course of another mental disorder (eg post traumatic stress disorder) and are not due to the direct physiological effect of substance (eg.drug abuse,medication) or a general medical condition..

Prevalence: The prevalence is between 10%-50% of children aged 3-5 years having nightmares of sufficient intensity that disturb their parents. In adult population as many as 50% of individuals may report at least one occasional night mare. In young adults at least 3% reports having nightmares frequently or always,however the actual prevalence is unknown.A cross-sectional study of 4- to 12-year-olds suggests a peak prevalence between 7 and 9 years, with 87% and 95.7% of children retrospectively reporting bad dreams often or sometimes

Causes: Nightmares disorder is most likely to appear in children exposed to severe psychosocial stressors.Females report having nightmares more than do men, at a ratio 2:1 to 4:1

Identification:  A clinician will add specifiers to the diagnosis according to its duration and severity.

• Acute: Duration of period of nightmares is 1 month or less.
• Subacute: Duration of period of nightmares is greater than 1 month but less than 6 months.
• Persistent: Duration of period of nightmares is 6 months or greater.

Severity is rated by the frequency with which the nightmares occur:

• Mild: Less than one episode per week on average.
• Moderate: One or more episodes per week but less than nightly.
• Severe: Episodes nightly

Management:

Children:  Reassurance of the patient or child and parents is all that is usually required.
    It may help to develop a relaxing bedtime routine that does not vary. Attention to causes of stress and upheaval within the home may help reduce the propensity to nightmares.
    Use of night lights and other strategies that may reduce  anxiety levels at night can help.
    If the nightmare is recurrent then it may help for the parents to talk through the nightmare and imagine a less scary ending.If the problem is occurring, say, on a more than twice-weekly basis persistently, then it may be worth referring for psychological or child-psychiatric input.
Adult :If your nightmares aren't illness- or medication-related, don't despair. Behavioral changes have proven effective for 70% of adults who suffer from nightmares, including those caused by anxiety, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Imagery rehearsal treatment is a promising cognitive behavioral therapy for recurrent nightmares and nightmares caused by PTSD
Keeping a regular wake-sleep schedule is important, maintaining sleep hygiene. So is engaging in regular exercise, which will help alleviate nightmare-causing anxiety and stress. You may find that yoga and meditation are also helpful.For further help one can contact a medical profession.

M-Motivation

We all need motivation for us to move ahead and succed.. We have different ideals who motivate us at different points of life..some of excerpts of some great motivational leaders  that I got motivated are listed herewith.. Rabindra Nath Tagore, Netaji, Mahatma Gandhi, Narayn Murthy.. amongst the many :

Excerpt-

As I look around I see the crumbling ruins of a proud civilization strewn like a vast heap of futility. And yet I shall not commit the grievous sin of losing faith in Man. I would rather look forward to the opening of a new chapter in his history after the cataclysm is over and the atmosphere rendered clean with the spirit of service and sacrifice. Perhaps that dawn will come from this horizon, from the East where the sun rises. A day will come when unvanquished Man will retrace his path of conquest, despite all barriers, to win back his lost human heritage.

- See more at: http://www.thebetterindia.com/11894/greatest-speeches-indians-most-inspirational/#sthash.aL25sT7l.dpuf

Excerpt-

As I look around I see the crumbling ruins of a proud civilization strewn like a vast heap of futility. And yet I shall not commit the grievous sin of losing faith in Man. I would rather look forward to the opening of a new chapter in his history after the cataclysm is over and the atmosphere rendered clean with the spirit of service and sacrifice. Perhaps that dawn will come from this horizon, from the East where the sun rises. A day will come when unvanquished Man will retrace his path of conquest, despite all barriers, to win back his lost human heritage.

- See more at: http://www.thebetterindia.com/11894/greatest-speeches-indians-most-inspirational/#sthash.aL25sT7l.dpuf

Rabindra Tagore,  Excerpt from speech at Santiniketan in April 1941 was his last speech. Tagore had been unwell for some time, yet his words were very moving - crisis of civilization-

    As I look around I see the crumbling ruins of a proud civilization strewn like a vast heap of futility. And yet I shall not commit the grievous sin of losing faith in Man. I would rather look forward to the opening of a new chapter in his history after the cataclysm is over and the atmosphere rendered clean with the spirit of service and sacrifice. Perhaps that dawn will come from this horizon, from the East where the sun rises. A day will come when unvanquished Man will retrace his path of conquest, despite all barriers, to win back his lost human heritage.

 Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose----Give me blood and I will give you freedom” speech –
“Give me blood and I will give you freedom” These words became the anthem for the youth during India’s struggle for independence. --- Excerpt from his speech at Azad Maidan:
   We should have but one desire today- the desire to die so that India may live- the desire to face a martyr’s death, so that the path to freedom may be paved with the martyr’s blood. Friends! my comrades in the War of Liberation! Today I demand of you one thing, above all. I demand of you blood. It is blood alone that can avenge the blood that the enemy has split. It is blood alone that can pay the price of freedom. Give me blood and I promise you freedom.


Narayana Murthy’s Speech --The speech by Narayana Murthy at Lal Bahadur Shastri Institute of Management on the role of Western values in contemporary Indian society is one of his most powerful speeches of all time.Excerpt-    Most of our behaviour comes from greed, lack of self-confidence, lack of confidence in the nation, and lack of respect for the society. To borrow Gandhi’s words: There is enough in this world for everyone’s need, but not enough for everyone’s greed. Let us work towards a society where we would do unto others what we would have others do unto us. Let us all be responsible citizens who make our country a great place to live

 

 This is one of the stories which highly motivates me.. the true value ..of things which matter the most in life..

Mahatma Gandhi went from city to city, village to village collecting funds for the Charkha Sangh. During one of his tours he addressed a meeting in Orissa. After his speech a poor old woman got up. She was bent with age, her hair was grey and her clothes were in tatters. The volunteers tried to stop her, but she fought her way to the place where Gandhiji was sitting. "I must see him," she insisted and going up to Gandhiji touched his feet. Then from the folds of her sari she brought out a copper coin and placed it at his feet. Gandhiji picked up the copper coin and put it away carefully. The Charkha Sangh funds were under the charge of Jamnalal Bajaj. He asked Gandhiji for the coin but Gandhiji refused. "I keep cheques worth thousands of rupees for the Charkha Sangh," Jamnalal Bajaj said laughingly "yet you won't trust me with a copper coin." "This copper coin is worth much more than those thousands," Gandhiji said. "If a man has several lakhs and he gives away a thousand or two, it doesn't mean much. But this coin was perhaps all that the poor woman possessed. She gave me all she had. That was very generous of her. What a great sacrifice she made. That is why I value this copper coin more than a crore of rupees

L-Love

This time I thought I would like to talk about the beautiful feeling,state and attitude that ranges from interpersonal affection to pleasure--Love ..Love  is the bond of existence between two beings. I Love the world Love as it is very poetic to me... Love defines the beautiful expression  I share with my parent, my god,  my  sibling, my friends from childhood and different stages of my life, my neighbors, my relations after marriage, husband, child, my acquaintances, my work, colleagues at work, nature, and the list goes on...Love for me is unconditional and it cannot be measured in terms of quantity....some people ask how much do you love me? I really wonder can one really answer this question...eg....a mothers love for child --how can it be measured... so dear friends today I want all of you to count your blessings and be grateful for the people in your life who love you unconditionally.

 I feel a sense of contentment when I see the world with the eyes of love rather than hatred. I know there are many things which are not right but I also know that there are so many beautiful things that are happening across the world. Let us start making a note of this so that our future generation will know about the beautiful things also...as History has recorded only war, hatred, enmity etc,,,,but very rarely it talked  about the love, and harmony and peace that co-existed in many parts of the world along with the pain and hatred.so let us start noting down the beautiful lovely things that are happening around us...and I conclude with these few lines....

Today before you think of saying an unkind word to loved one –think of someone who don't have loving people around them

Before you complain about your partner–think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life and love –think of someone who lost their loved ones because they went early to heaven.

And when depressing or hatred  thoughts seem to get you down–put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around and you have people who love and care for you around you.

Life is a gift – Love it, Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it..

K--Kleptomania

Kleptomania is a  disorder in which the individual repeatedly gives in to the impulse to steal for no great gain, when he or she has sufficient money to pay for the item and no need for what is stolen.

DSM-IV-TR classifies diagnostic criteria for Kleptomania as: Kleptomania is the recurrent failure  to resist impulses to steal items even through the items are not needed for personal use or their monetary value( Criteria A) , The individual experiences a rising subjective sense of tension before the theft ( Criteria B) and feels pleasure, gratification, or relief when committing the theft ( criterion C) the stealing is not committed to express anger or vengeance, it is done in response to a delusion or hallucination (criterion D) and is not better accounted for by Conduct Disorder, a Manic Episode, or Anti social personality disorder ( Criterion E) . the objects are stolen despite the fact that they are typically of little value to the individual, who could have afforded to pay for them and often gives them away or discards them. they do not usually pre plan the thefts or fully take into account the chances of apprehension. the stealing is done without assistance from or collaboration with,others, 

Kleptomania is a rare condition that appears to occur in fewer than 5% of identified shoplifters. Its prevalence in general population is unknown. approximately two-third of individuals with Kleptomania are females if we take gender specific features. Some individuals, especially adolescents, may also steal on a dare, as an act of rebellion, or as a rite of passage. The diagnosis of kleptomania is not made unless other characteristic features of Kleptomania are also present. Kleptomania is rare, whereas shoplifting is relatively common. In malingering, individuals may simulate the symptoms of kleptomania to avoid criminal prosecution.

Treatment: 

A variety of therapies have been used to treat this disorder.  Counseling or therapy in a group or one-on-one setting can be very helpful. It is usually aimed at dealing with underlying psychological problems that may be contributing to kleptomania. Behavioral strategies have been reported as successful though the soundest research points to promising results with the use of anti-depressant medication. 

Normally the prognosis for recovery of kleptomania is fair, but can increase with a positive therapeutic relationship and a strong motivation to change the behavior. Kleptomania often goes untreated and results in legal difficulties

J-Jealousy

Jealousy is a sentiment which is born in love which is produced by the fear that the loved one prefers someone else. Its a form of hatred built upon insecurity, obsession and weakness. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. In its original meaning, jealousy is distinct from envy though the two terms have popularly become synonymous in the English language, with jealousy now also taking on the definition originally used for envy alone. Jealousy is a typical experience in human relationships It has been observed in infants five months and older. Some claim that jealousy is seen in every culture; however, others claim jealousy is a culture-specific phenomenon

 People do not express jealousy through a single emotion or a single behavior-They instead express jealousy through diverse emotions and behaviors

"Romantic jealousy is here defined as a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self esteem and/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship, when those threats are generated by the perception of a real or potential attraction between one's partner and a (perhaps imaginary) rival." (White, 1981, p. 24)

"Jealousy, then, is any aversive reaction that occurs as the result of a partner's extradyadic relationship that is real, imagined, or considered likely to occur." (Bringle & Buunk, 1991, page 135)

 Jealousy for many people may involve: 

 Fear of loss
Suspicion of or anger about a perceived betrayal
Low self-esteem and sadness over perceived loss
Uncertainty and loneliness
Fear of losing an important person to another
Distrust
Overcoming::Jealousy can often destroy relationships if not nipped in the bud or not dealt with emotional healing. --Steps could include: Recovering personal power to control ones thoughts and emotions,shifting point of view, identify the core beliefs that trigger the emotion of jealousy,becoming self aware that these thoughts are irrational, develop control over emotions and thoughts so that immediately you can divert your thoughts and actions to something more constructive